The Passe Marriage

Last week I heard on the radio people discussing marriage.  Their point was, centuries ago people's life spans were shorter allowing them to live in monogamous relationships easier. According to their argument, lifespans are considerably longer now and to expect a marriage til death do we part is not realistic.  People outgrow each other over the years and life changes.  Having multiple relationships throughout one's lifetime is a better expectation. 

While their argument sounds very logical, it made wonder.  Marriage was an institution formed for many reasons; spiritual, economic, and political.  By saying marriage is passe are we using our lifespans as an excuse not to respect this ancient covenant?  It's evident in our society many people look for a way out of contracts and responsibilities through the number of law suits.  By not having marriage would we be absolving ourselves from any type of commitment?

What would our world be like without marriage? What name would you give your child?  Would another ceremony would take the place of marriage?  The impact on the laws and lawyers would be phenomenal. People may continue to make arguments for or against marriage. But the fact is, the covenant of marriage is so ingrained throughout our lives, it won't become passe for a long time. 

Private Thoughts

A couple of weeks ago, I purchased a new journal.  There are so many interesting journal covers to choose from these days.  It was difficult to choose.

Keeping a journal has always seemed to be an intimate habit to express the thoughts you cannot share with other people.  While I have this romantic notion of journal keeping, I haven’t been very successful in keeping a journal at various times in my life.  Having other people read your journal without being asked and becoming offended by something you’ve written, takes any romantic ideas about writing and crumbles them up like paper going to the trash can.  As I was relating my journal experiences to a friend they asked the question, “Why keep a journal if you don’t want someone else to read it?”

Admittedly, this is a very logical question.  In return my question is, “How do you express your most intimate thoughts if you can’t write them in a private journal?”

Moving Forward

For over a decade now, I’ve been divorced.  The majority of the time has been spent raising my child and working.  Time for me has been limited.  Throughout the years I have dated several men but the relationships have been shallow and led me down a dead end road.  In essence, the divorce has left me stuck in a rut of mud along the highway of life.

There is a list of activities I have done over the years attempting to get me “unstuck”.  Volunteer work, church, ballroom dancing, online dating, and sports are a few of the items on the list.  Each endeavor left me with a story but not successful in finding the right relationship. 

This morning I was watching Joel Osteen.  He was explaining, we have to let go of the past and move forward.  Sometimes instead of God taking us from point A to point B, He may take us to point Y then back to point B.  Many people will say you have to move forward.  My question is, exactly how do you move forward?  To this day, I have not heard one person say, this was the first step I took to move forward from this event in my life. 

I really don’t know if anyone reads this blog.  But if you do and if you have moved forward in your life from an unfortunate event, what was your first step?  What did you do to move forward?

Vacuuming is Sexy??

The other night as I was getting ready for bed, the television was playing in the background.  The televangelists, Jimmy and Karen Evans were discussing marriage.  Specifically, they were talking about the characteristics of men that women find appealing.  According to the Evans, most women want a man to be a protector and a provider.  Mr. Evans cited a study which showed women get aroused from the smell of men’s sweat.  He went on to say it is important for men to share in the household responsibilities such as vacuuming, cooking, and cleaning.  This helps women respect their husbands.

As soon as he made the statement, I could relate to the truth of it from a personal experience.  Several years ago, I dated my former high school sweetheart again after many years.  It was a long distance relationship.  He would come visit me every other weekend, when my child was visiting their father.  During those weekends, I would try to cram so many activities as well as my chores making me exhausted come Monday morning.  Plus, he would bring his laundry to be done while he was staying.  In addition, I felt like I had to entertain him as a guest in my home.  One Sunday afternoon, as I was approaching exhaustion to complete my chores, vacuuming still needed to be done.  While I was vacuuming, my former sweetheart sat on my couch watching sports.  He didn’t offer to help.  It was if I had become the hired help.  Then I had an epiphany.  In this relationship, I would be my former sweetheart’s provider.  I would be taking care of him.  Here I was taking care of my young child and dog.  Several years from now there would be the possibility I would have to take care of my aging parents.  The thought of adding another person to take care of was overwhelming to me.  It wasn’t long after the weekend mentioned above, I ended the relationship.   The relationship ended not because he didn’t offer to vacuum but a culmination of other things.  Though if he had offered to help it may have lasted longer since this woman believes a man is definitely sexy when he helps.

Same Train, Different Station

I do not believe events and opportunities happen as a result of chance.  No, I believe the smallest to the grandest occurrences are divinely planned and orchestrated.  As I grow in wisdom, I see the orchestration of events performed line by line in my life, as well as the life of others.  Yet, there are many of life’s incidences to which I have no comprehension to their purpose.

It appears life is now teaching me and begging me to have faith and believe.  Could it be we are all riding the same train through life and our faith in ourselves and others determine the station where we stop?  A friend was sharing her initiative in buying a new house.  Several months ago she had found a house she liked but financially she wasn’t ready.  She told herself, if the house was meant to be hers when she was ready it would be available.  Sure enough, the house is still available.  She is currently negotiating for the house at a great price.

Lately, I’ve been looking for a Vita-Mix blender.  Like my friend, I thought if it is meant for me to have one, it will appear at a great price.  Guess what?  Sunday on QVC, the Vita-Mix was on sale.  My friend and I both believed for something we wanted.  We were willing to let events to flow without forcing anything to happen.  And we both are receiving what we wanted.  However my friend is getting a $300,000 house and I’m getting a $500.00 blender.  Maybe, I should have stayed on the train to the next station.  : )

Multiple Personalities

It’s almost like having multiple personalities.  You need to understand, this isn’t my first time blogging.  In fact, I have two other blogs.  In my other blogs, people in the small town where I live know who is writing.  Yet, during the course of blogging, I’ve found the need to express some ideas and events confidentially.   Expressing observations without the people I know playing detective to find out who I am referring to in certain situations.

One of my gifts is being a good listener.  People from all walks of life open up and share some of their most intimate experiences with me.  Sometimes this happens in the hallway at work, at the grocery store check-out line, or on the phone.  I will not betray a confidence.  My goal is to share my experiences as I see people being definitely human.